While at work today, I was busy putting my things away, when something or say someone, caught my attention.
A young girl, probably in her tween, sweaty and tired walked in with a woman who she was calling her mom. The woman had a high pitched voice and I could hear her continuously telling her daughter to stop doing what she was doing. The girl had tears flowing down her cheeks, and looked helpless. I naturally felt bad for the child and said to my self what a mean, evil mother and awwww the poor child.
In my utmost curiosity and my intent to may be help the poor child out of the weird scenario she was in, I approached them and offered help.
Well not help, help, but I offered assistance while trying to figure the situation out. As the mother spoke to me and explained to me her reason for the visit, I was all ears to the conversation between the two in between. And did I hear them well or what. As I watched them leave, I wondered how would I have reacted in such a situation.
Okay cut the crap. The mother picked the daughter up from her summer camp and had to run some errands. As the child was hungry, the mother got her some fast food from McDonalds that was on her way. Her biggest crime however was that she did not make a U turn and did not go out of her way to go to the better McDonalds who makes burgers just the way the child wants. Hence the girl, that little girl was not happy how her burger tasted and had constantly been shouting and yelling at her mother on how selfish and mean a woman she is.
Just for the heck of conversation and to help lighten up, I asked the mother about the child’s age. She responded 13, the child screamed “I am 13” and the mother replied “Yes that is what I said”. The child screamed even louder “No you said 14!!!”
And I asked my own self what time we are living in.
As a child, and I am not sure if I have ever mentioned this earlier. But as a child I used to get only 15 minutes of cartoon a day, that too if I finished my homework on time, and properly. The food was never of choice but of my mother’s. And so were the clothes. “I do not want this” and “I do not like this” were unfamiliar words. I never had the liberty to raise questions about food, clothes, friends etc. And most of all, it did not damage me or my life. It did not ruin me as many might think or say or assume. It helped me be a better, smarter person. It helped me be thankful for everything I had. It helped me love and respect my parents. It helped me value little things and moments in life. It helped me to have less and still be happy and feel content. And it helped me to never regret being raised like that!
And then the face of that girl flashed in my mind again. The sense of entitlement over a burger not good enough. A child who could not handle disappointment. A child who had to be bribed with a chocolate so she could shut up for the rest of the time while the mother spoke to me. A child who was all about me, me and me and constantly wanted more and more, completely ignoring the fact that she is disrespecting her mother, disrespecting all efforts that woman might be making to keep her little girl happy.
I want to use this opportunity and ask you: What is your stance on that? What causes this? Is this even bad or am I over reacting?
1 Comment
Mam, As always, very nice article and very important in ever parent’s life.
kids of this generation are very demanding and they have very low level of patience. they think that if they scream or cry, their demands will be fulfilled and they are right as the kids cry or yell parents surrender. kids are very smart, they know our weakness.
we as a parents are responsible for the same, we give our kids everything these days but we don’t give what they actually need i.e our time, we don’t have time for them. we are busy in our own life. kids are being raised by iPads, iPhones and advanced gadgets not by the parents. spending time with the kids is very important, we have to give them the basic values, we ourselves give them the gadgets just to keep them busy and then they become habitual or I will say slave of these devices.
if we give our time to the kids and the good moral values, they will realize the importance of relationships and love and affection. kids will follow us, if they see us on mobiles and laptops, they are going to do the same.
you rightly mentioned , in our times we did not have choice in food, clothing etc. we had to eat what was served and same was with clothes. our parents brought us well even in scarcity, they were strong parents. today we are not that strong, as a kids we did not dare to counter our parents and see todays kids, they argue with us over things.
I feel solution to the problem is to spend time with kids, understand them, treat them as a friends, instead of buying them costly things, fill their hearts with love, joy and compassion.
I remember one incident, in school exams my son was asked to write the spelling of father, he by mistake wrote farther, when I got his test result and saw the sheet, I saw this and all of sudden it came to my mind that yes this relation is becoming farther and farther, I was very busy in my work, that opened my eyes and I started spending time with my kid.